BANG YOUR HEAD

Bang your head! Metal Health’ll drive you mad…..  If you were a teenager in the 80’s you probably relate the sentence above to a rock song by Quiet Riot, but if you are a marketing professional like me then you probably relate that term to many of your clients because very often at the end of each day that is exactly what I feel like doing, just banging my head on my desk. Over and over and over.  I have thought of suggesting to the local health club that they should hold sessions for people like me so that after work, I can join 50 other people in a room just banging my head against the wall.  We can even call it “Mental Health” I am sure quiet riot won’t mind and if they do, let them spend a day with me at the office, they will change their mind very quickly.

I know some of you are reading this and wondering what the hell I am rambling about.  I am talking about dealing with a certain type of client, we all know this client, and this client will surely have you banging your head against the wall.  Let me paint you a picture.  You are doing an email campaign to a double opt-in highly targeted list of investors.  You have a client who wants to send several campaigns over a period of a couple of weeks to that list to promote their investor advice site.  On their landing page they are sending to there is a weekly stock pick, but they say that is not the focus of the campaign and they do not want to mention any particular stocks in the email itself, they simply want people to go to the site and sign up for their newsletter, that’s it.  You go over everything with them, telling them the landing page is about joining the list, the stock pick does not have much information on it about it, and they confirm that the purpose of this email is simply to inform people about their stock pick newsletter, not to promote a stock. So you have done your job, the client is educated and well informed about what they are going to get and what is and is not going to happen.

So the day comes that the email campaign starts going out, and by mid afternoon Microsoft Outlook is ready to explode, because the client is frantically emailing you because they are not happy because the stock pick on their site did not go up at all, nothing significant happened with it, it even closed lower than it opened.  They are yelling that your email is not working, it’s not going through, it must be getting blocked, you don’t know what you are doing, this is not what they paid for, and this was not worth the money. %&$#?@!   Are you freakin kidding me!!??  You went over this in detail over and over and it was understood that they were not interested in promoting the stock, but now suddenly it’s like you didn’t have that conversation 12 times before they pulled the trigger?  Really?  What the hell? Did stupid school let out early today?  Had they said they wanted to promote the stock you would have set up a completely different campaign, but that’s not what they wanted, at least not until this morning.  This is your fault how?  The point in all of this, is when you get a customer like this and they keep coming back to do business, and yes they will, you have one of three choices: 1. You can keep putting up with this crap, because you are getting paid and that’s what matters right? 2. You tell the client that you told them what they were getting, they confirmed what they wanted, and so you are not taking the blame, and you really don’t want to hear about it and next time they are explained something, stop talking and listen.  Tell them to make sure they know what they want.  Or 3. You can tell them to get out of your office, your life, don’t call or email again, you do not want their business because it’s not worth the chest pains you get.

You might find this mildly amusing, you might think that this doesn’t happen, nobody is really like this.  Oh really?